


The Fear

by jeminguay



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bipolar Disorder, DL:DR, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren is one twisted fuck, Medicinal Drug Use, Mental Health Issues, Mind Games, Multi, Non-Consensual Bondage, Other, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Stalker!Ben Solo, Stalker!Kylo, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9615191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeminguay/pseuds/jeminguay
Summary: Modern au setting Kylo Ren is a vile stalker rapist piece of shit and you are his unlucky victim. Dark, Graphic, There might be a plot in here somewhere.





	1. Instincts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Korpuskat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korpuskat/gifts), [ChaiAndChill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaiAndChill/gifts), [fuckingkyloren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingkyloren/gifts).



> DL;DR stalking, violence, rape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't Like Don't Read: Stalking, Rape, Non-Con, Violence

He watched her dress. His eyes ate up every inch of her exposed flesh. She squeezed a bit of lotion into her hands, rubbed them together and began applying it to her skin. She looked so soft. God how he wanted to touch her. She ran her palms over her stomach and sighed as she looked herself over in the mirror. She bent over to pick up her wet towel. His dick was so hard it was starting to hurt. He could take her. He could take her right now, end his suffering...

No. If he did that, all their many months of planning and preperation would be for nothing.

Baring his teeth in frustration, he held in the furious growl clawing its way up his throat. Hands shaking in agitation, he undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He unzipped them slowly, watching her face intently. The last thing he needed was to be discovered. She stepped into her panties, pulling them up her legs and over her hips. He wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed, biting his lip to contain his needy whimper.


	2. Paranoia

You sat down at the foot of your bed and reached into the dresser drawer. A sigh born of hopelessness escaped your lips. _Stop being so damn dramatic!_ You scolded yourself as you chose a pair of panties and started to put them on. A strange sound, like metal clacking against metal came from your closet. You stared in its general direction, eyes narrowed, but the sound did not repeat itself. You huffed, annoyed. You had fifteen minutes to dress. If you took any longer you’d be late and God knew, a one hundred dollar missed appointment fee was the last thing you needed. You pulled on the clean pair of jeans, you had laid out on the bed earlier and a coral lace cami, then went to the mirror to check your makeup. Your reflection showed the same Y/C hair, and Y/C eyes, set into the same face you’d been looking at your entire life, with one slight modification, the woman before you looked well. Perhaps Doctor Hux would see that face, the face of a young woman that looked confident, put together, and believe that you were better.

Part of you hoped that it would happen. The part that didn’t want to get better whispered in your mind that you would be better off without treatment. _The pills change you. You can’t feel. It’s not right. Don’t you want to be who you really are?_ The voice asked. You stared at the orange bottle and the chalky diamond shaped medication inside. You considered not taking them. Your feelings were the only thing that had driven you, your entire life. Every decision, every desire, every whim had been powered by pure often unfathomable emotion and the treatment had muted it. The void it left behind had you floundering. _I won’t take them today._ You decided and put on your sweater.

You were already taking your keys off the hook when you remembered the accident. The possibility that you would encounter traffic on the way home made your throat tighten in fear and you turned right back around. Grumbling under your breath, you headed straight to the dresser and opened the bottle. Fat blue pill pressed between your fingers, you went and served yourself a glass of water.

“Fuck.” You hissed in exasperation and popped the pill into your mouth.

You drank the water, ignoring the bitter taste of the residue on your tongue. Your phone lit up showing a quarter after one and you were out the door faster than you could say “Lamictal”.

***

 “Good Afternoon, Miss Y/L/N. How are you feeling today?” Doctor Hux asked, shaking your hand.

It seemed more like an after-thought than anything else. Under his white lab coat, he wore an expensive looking olive green button up shirt and impeccably pressed black slacks. He was a very handsome man. From the place your head stopped, (just below his shoulder) you guessed he stood about six foot one. His high cheek bones and pouty lips would make super models cry. Doctor Hux gestured for you to enter the room before him and you noticed something shiny around his wrist. His watch was a Blancpain. You frowned. Though he usually dressed fashionably, you found it no less unsettling that your psychiatrist earned so high an income. You shook your head as though it would stop the thoughts from forming.

“You seem a bit distracted. Have you given anymore thought to taking Adderall?” He shut the door behind him as you took your usual seat.

“As I have told you before, I believe it would greatly benefit you to do so.” He reminded you, sitting behind his desk.

“Thank you, but I don’t feel comfortable taking anything else right now.” You replied, nervously. A small thread sticking out of the seam of your sweater tickled your wrist and you began to pick at it.

“I see,” Was all he said as he clicked open whatever screens he usually used for your sessions.

“How have you been feeling?” He asked, sky blue eyes fixed on you.

You found it intimidating. “I feel fine.” You tried not to shrink back into the chair.

“No mood swings?” He clicked something on the screen in front of him.

You shook your head in the negative.

“No impulsive urges? No speeding, shopping sprees, one night stands?” He asked dispassionately. A lock of his ginger colored hair escaped its neat styling.

“No.” You muttered.

“Lying whore.”

You looked up, bewildered to find him watching you, passively.

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked as calmly as you could manage.

“Have you had any impulsive urges that have resulted in dangerous behavior?” He reiterated, combing the strand back into place with long dexterous fingers.

“No.” You answered, relieved.

“Good.”

You sat in silence for a while, except for the clicking of his mouse. Your eyes wandered his Spartan office and you were soon bored. He had no photographs of friends or family, no novelty paper weights or coffee mugs, no indication that he led any sort of life outside of his profession. You tried to imagine Doctor Hux doing something normal: going to dinner with friends, picking up coffee at a Starbucks drive thru, grocery shopping, but nothing really fit. It was like trying to imagine a horse walking on two legs, bizarre.

“And during your menstrual cycle?” His crisp London accent disrupted your musings.

“I feel kind of… depressed.” You confessed.

“Very depressed or a bit less good-humored than usual?” He pressed.

“uh… less good-humored?” You had meant it as an answer, but it came out a question.

“Hmmm…” He clicked something on the screen. “Do you have any concerns about the medication you are currently taking?”

You shook your head ‘no’.

He shot you an annoyed look.

“Well, sort of…” You conceded looking down at your lap. “Is-is paranoia one of the side effects of my medication?” You asked tugging at the sleeve of your sweater.

“No. Have you been sleeping well?”

“Not really.” You sighed.

He frowned, his crystalline blue gaze assessing. “Are you taking the Ambien I prescribed on your last visit?”

“I…forgot to pick it up.” You admitted sheepishly.

He shook his head, tutting his tongue disapprovingly. “I will send in another prescription to our pharmacist, but you must promise me that you will use it this time.” He urged.

“Yes, sir.” You murmured, absently examining the laces of your black combat boots.

“Good girl.”

Your gaze shot straight to him, but he kept typing as though he hadn’t spoken. You were half afraid that he hadn’t. He typed out the prescription quickly and stood, holding out one large pale hand. You took it, shaking it warily.

“I will see you in two weeks.”

You nodded.

He opened the door, holding it for you as you picked up your purse and headed into the hallway. You had never been so relieved to leave his office.

You couldn’t sleep that night. The strange taste of your visit to Doctor Hux stayed imbedded in your tongue, souring your thoughts. Your mind was a mess, each idea more erratic and sinister than the last. _You’re crazy. You are nothing. You finally lost your mind. Whore. You are less than nothing. Useless. What am I doing? Total waste of space. Stop it! Worthless. No! Slut._

 _“_ FUCK!” You couldn’t bare it. Not for another second. You jumped up from your bed and threw open your door. Picking up your purse, you turned it over, dumping its contents onto the kitchen counter. Your shit went everywhere. You heard change rolling under the cabinets, but you didn’t care. You grabbed onto the white paper bag and tore it open. A white bottle came tumbling out. Pressing the cap down, you twisted it off and began jabbing your finger into the shiny foil barrier.

“Son of a bitch.” You muttered, at the continued fruitlessness of your ministrations.

You brought a fork out of the closest drawer and stabbed your way in.

 _Take that, fucker._ You tore the hole wider and reached in, pushing aside cotton until you could get to the pills.

You didn’t bother with water. You tossed the pill back and dry swallowed.

          Afraid to go back into your room, you went straight to the living room. You threw yourself onto the sofa and sighed. There was a brown spot on your ceiling. You frowned at the water damage. You would have to call maintenance about it. Your apartment wasn’t the best, but you paid your rent damn it. If anything, it had to go on some sort of record that you had at least tried to get it fixed. Muffled shouting came from the apartment above. _Ugh… not again._ You briefly considered getting up to get the broom. Two college boys lived up there and the sons of bitches were always bickering about something or other. Your trusty broom handle usually broke up their fights, but suddenly it seemed to be much too far away.

You yawned tiredly, wondering who ate whose food or which one finished the dish soap and didn’t replace it. Your eyelids were suddenly much too heavy to keep open. You heard something, but you were so exhausted, you couldn’t get your eyes to open again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DL;DR *READ WARNINGS*


	3. Want

You were vaguely aware that someone was in the room with you. Your instincts cried out that you should be running, kicking, fighting, but your strength had left you completely.

“Beautiful.” A deep voice murmured reverently against your temple.

You tried to move away, only managing to flinch. Warm breath caressed yourcheek, but any inclination you had to move was fading and fading fast. Chapped lips pressed gently against your own taking a kiss you were far from able to willingly give. You tried to comprehend what was happening as two arms burrowed underneath your body, lifting you as though you were weightless; sleep pulled you under.

 

***

 

      You screamed yourself awake. Your lungs burned like you had run for miles. Someone had taken you. You had come to the realization in your sleep and woken to find that it was true. Terrified, you reached out into the pitch black and felt nothing, but cool air. Focusing on your surroundings, you found that there was a familiar cushion beneath you that could only be a mattress. You reached out to your left, expecting to feel the floor, but your hand touched nothing. You swallowed around the lump that seemed to have formed in your throat. Hesitantly, you swung your legs over the edge and began to lower yourself onto your feet. The floor was cold. Your feet were bare, but you would risk stepping on something sharp if it helped you get your bearings. You took two careful steps forward. Nothing stopped you, so you took another two, and then a third. The fifth brought you to a wall. You took a deep breath and ran your palm against it. From the smell of damp earth, you surmised that you were underground. The wall was mostly smooth, you felt your way along it, noticing a pattern, five or six inches of smooth space and then a long vertical groove. Your mind provided you with an image of wood paneling and you held on to it like a lifeline. Before you could reach the corner, you bumped your toe and yelped.

A sound came from the other side of the door and you froze. Voices. You couldn’t make out what they were saying, but one of them was louder than the other as if the speaker were angry. Panicking, you scrambled backwards, making a blind dash for the bed. Your thighs bumped into the edge of the mattress. You ignored the pain and climbed back up onto the bed just as you heard the door open. Your head whipped toward it so fast it hurt. White light blinded you for a moment as your eyes adjusted. A man you had never seen before stood in the doorway, chocolate brown eyes fixated on you.

“You’re awake.” He sounded relieved. Running his hand through his long raven hair, he sighed.

A small smile played at his full lips as he stepped toward the bed.

You didn’t move. He was taller than any man you had ever seen. His broad shoulders and the strength they boasted made you afraid to even breathe.

“You had me worried for a while there, Princess. You were asleep for a very long time.” He told you as he sat on the corner of the bed.

“I…I took a pill.” You said more to yourself than him as you remembered your fight with the bottle of Ambien.

“Do you feel okay? You want some water?” He asked with an expression of concern.

You were confused. He spoke with such familiarity, as if he’d known you for a long time and his concern seemed so genuine. You nodded cautiously. He opened a door on your right. He flipped a switch and a light came on, revealing a small bathroom. He picked up a paper cup, from a stack on the counter by the sink and started to fill it with water. Your eyes travelled along the counter, a soap pump and tooth brush holder. You blinked. They were lavender, identical to the ones in your apartment. Frowning you took a look at your surroundings. A tall bookcase & chest of drawers sat against the wall beside the bathroom. The furniture looked old and heavy, reminicient of the furniture at your grandmother's house. You noticed what you guessed would be the door to a small closet. The bedroom door stood open, an old television vhs combo sat a top an ancient coffee table against the wall adjacent. The room seemed thrown together, odd. Your gaze drifted to the comforter you were sitting on. You had one just like it at home. Ugly and tattered though it was your grandmother had gifted it to you so you'd kept it. The familiar cabbage rose pattern dispelled the fog from your brain bringing your current situation to the forefront of your mind. You were sitting in a weird room in a stranger's basement with no real recollection of you ended up there. You moved faster than you ever had in your life, bolting up, jumping off the bed and launching yourself out the door.

“Y/n!” He shouted your name, but you kept moving, running across the outer room with a singular goal in mind. _Get to the stairs._

He was on you before you could touch the banister.

“No! Let go of me!” You cried out, desperate to escape the muscular arm around your waist.

You screamed. It fell on deaf ears. He dragged you backwards, across the space.

You focused all of your energy into making yourself heavy. You were willing to bet everything you had that he could not support your full weight.

You were wrong.

With strength, you had never imagined any one man capable of, he hauled you into the wood paneled room, tossing you onto the bed with ease.

“What.is.the Matter.with you?!” He hissed through clenched teeth, chest heaving. You clambered toward the head of the bed. You didn’t stop until your back hit the wall.

“I go out of my way to make sure you have everything you need, to make sure that you’re comfortable and you thank me by trying to run away?!” His dark eyes full of rage froze your very soul with fear.

 “Ungrateful bitch!” He hollered out right. “I’ll show you what happens to little girls that don’t listen!”

Your eyes widened as his hands went to his belt. He unbuckled it with ease even in his fury. The formidable sound of leather sliding free from denim had you on your feet in an instant. Yoh shifted your weight from foot to foot, bouncing slightly on the mattress as you looked for an escape route. He stood between you and the door. The way you’d come was not a viable option. Your heart raced, your breathing picking up out of fear. Your eyes darted to the door on your right. You dove for the bathroom. He growled like an angry beast. You landed chest first and gasped. The air was forced from your lungs, but you didn’t dare to let it stop you. You crawled further into the bathroom. Your knee cleared the door. You were almost home free. His thick fingers closed around your ankle. You screamed. He yanked you backwards with such force that the floor squeaked as your belly dragged across it. You kicked out hard with your free leg, but it didn’t deter him in the least. Half way between the bed and the bathroom, he straddled your body. He forced your arms behind your back, binding your wrists together with his belt. Your mind searched desperately for a way out of it, tripped on the terrible realization that there wasn’t one, and began to flounder, drowning in the facts.This was really happening. It was in his power to do whatever he wanted with you and you had no way to stop him.

He pulled your night shirt up past your backside and you gasped.

“Y-you don’t have to do this!” A panicked voice you hardly recognized as your own, cried out breathlessly. “Please, listen to me!”

His hand stopped tugging at the waistband of your panties.

“You’re a-a good person! You don’t want to do this! I can tell!” You plead, tears threatening to spill at any second.

“You’re right. I don’t want to do this,” He stated clearly. “but you broke the rules and now, you have to be punished.”

Twin tears ran down your face. The last vestiges of hope snuffed out in one devastating moment.

“I’m sorry.” You sobbed unable to accept defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“Not yet, baby girl, but you will be.” He promised, wrenching your panties down your thighs in one fluid movement.


	4. Confide

You heard the sharp sound of his zipper coming down followed by the rustle of fabric as he pulled his cock free. Your spine tingled in a revolting mixture of fear and anticipation.The silky head of his cock brushed against your exposed bottom. You struggled beneath him, trying to pull away only to feel his entire shaft run along the length of your ass. He bit into your shoulder brutally, tearing at your skin with his teeth as he pulled away. You screamed. The fabric of your shirt clung to you in the spaces your blood seeped through.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” He chided, running his big hands down your sides.

He spit into his palm and stroked his erection. Barely coating it with a thin sheen of bloody saliva, he pressed the head of his cock up against your entrance. You whimpered as he pushed into your cunt, stretching you. His make-shift lube did little to ease the burn of his intrusion. Your vagina longing to expel him, clenched down hard around his length in vain.

“Fuck, baby girl. You’re so tight.” He hissed through gritted teeth. The trail of soft hair lining its way down his abdomen grazed your fingertips, as he pulled out of you.

It could only have been a matter of seconds, but time seemed to stretch out as he kneeled there behind you. You could feel him eating up the sight of you laying beneath him, wrists tied behind your back, prey to his vulgar predilections.  

You yelped as he thrust back into you.

 “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been watching you?” He asked, panting in your ear. “Do you know how hard it was, not being able to touch you, to make you mine?”

His muscular thighs flexed against yours as he pulled out of you again. He was _there_. All of those times that you felt like you were being watched, he was there, waiting for the chance to take you. Any paranoid thought you’d ever tried to reason yourself into ignoring returned to haunt you. You sobbed, cursed, and to your mortification, whined miserably as he fucked you. 

Natural lubricant began to slicken your cunt, your body no longer resisting his entry. His thick shaft dragged along your walls as he moved in and out of you. Wet sounds came from the place where your bodies met.

“But, oh God, feeling your nice tight pussy around my cock, makes it all worth it.”

The violent impact of his hips colliding with yours shook your entire body. His thrusts altered, becoming rapid and uneven. Tears clouded your view. You tried to blink them away, so that you could focus on something, anything but what came next. His hips stuttered, the squelching sounds becoming unbearable. Your vision cleared enough that you could just make out a line of decorative tiles bordering the bathroom floor. You began to count the little tiles under your breath, but somehow, he knew. He raked his fingers into your hair, pulling hard. You cried out in pain.

“You’re mine, now, baby girl. Do you hear me? All mine.” He growled low in his throat as he filled you with his cum.

The sound of his panting filled the air as he lay there on top of you, catching his breath. You gasped, when he pulled out. His cum began to leak out of you, oozing out of your sex, coating your thighs.

“You were so good for me, Princess.” He praised as though you had stopped fighting for his benefit rather than your own.

No longer burdened with the weight of him, you took a deep breath. His hands worked on the belt, loosening it. The wound on your shoulder pulsed and stung as you let your wrists fall away from each other. Devastation tore down the veil of apathy that had tormented you for the last six months and you experienced a single pure emotion. Agony.

 

*

 

Your tears had finally begun to slow.

“Sssshhh…Don’t cry. You’re alright.” He cooed, nuzzling his face into your hair. “I’m here.”

You'd sobbed yourself hoarse more than an hour ago. Torn yellow comforter balled in your fists, you tried to curl up into a little ball. As a child, you had spent a lot of time crying on the floor of your closet. The position had brought you comfort. His palm pressed into your stomach in warning, even this, he took from you. You longed to be the courageous woman you fancied yourself before, but your captor had forced you to face the disappointing reality. You were weak.

“Have you ever done anything bad?” He asked suddenly.

you knew he expected a response and shuddered to think what the consequences would be if you failed to provide a satisfactory one.

You nodded affirmatively.

“No, but I mean really, really bad?” He pushed excitedly.

 You closed your eyes, swallowing anxiously.

“I asked you a question.” He ran the tips of his fingers down your arm gently.

“N-no.” You stuttered.

“I did.” He declared without an ounce of remorse. “I did something really bad.”

Your eyes popped open. The beginnings of panic twisted your stomach.

He lay there on his side, head propped up in one large palm.

“You wanna know what it is?”

It felt as though it would cause you physical pain to answer.

“Princess?” He reprimanded patronizingly.

You looked up at his smirking face, all too capable of concocting hellish scenarios in your head.

“Do you wanna know?” He twined his fingers with yours, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

You managed to nod, heart beat quickening.

“No.” He drawled disappointed. “You don’t wanna know.” He squeezed your hand a bit too hard, making you gasp sharply.

You knew exactly what he wanted, but you were terrified of giving it to him.

“Please, tell me.” You played along despite the feeling of foreboding rising within you.  

“You really wanna know?” His eyes seemed dark as shadows when they gazed down at you.

“Yes. I do.” You reassured him.

He hummed as though he was thinking it over.

“Okay. I’ll tell you, but only if you promise to keep my secret.” He leaned into you, brushing his long nose against yours. “Do you promise that what I’m about to tell you will stay between us?”

His lips were so close to yours that you could feel his warmth. You shared a breath. His proximity made your skin crawl in protest.

“I…I promise.” You said hesitantly.

His chapped pink lips grazed yours lightly.

“I killed someone.” He whispered.

You stared up at him, wide eyed.

“N-no. No, you didn’t.” You stammered. You refused to accept it as fact. If he had murdered another person, what did that mean for you?

His deep laughter held a slight note of hysteria.

“Yes. I did.” Something in his eyes told you that he wasn’t lying.

Your lower lip trembled as he presented you with this new possibility. He stole what little space was left between you, kissing you deeply. You were stunned by the intensity of it. Lust, Hate, Adoration. You felt it all in his kiss. His tongue slid across the seam of your lips, pushing into your mouth when you tried to deny entry. Your captor ran the tip of his tongue against the roof of your mouth, whining pathetically. He tore the blanket from your grip, crawling over your bare body. Lips molding over yours hotly, he rutted against your thigh. His smooth shaft dragging along your skin, his heavy breathing, the way his massive hands pawed at your breasts in aggravation, distressed you greatly.

You shoved at his shoulders. Completely unaffected, he continued his assault on your mouth. He spread your legs apart with his knee. One thought rang urgently through your mind. _Make it stop! Make him stop!_ His hands clawed their way down your torso, fingers digging into your hips. You dragged your fingernails across his shoulder blades, red stripes of blood rose to the surface. He hissed, body trembling, but made no move to stop you. Voracious lips branded your neck and chest with wet kisses, drowning you in his need. You grabbed at his hair, pulling as hard as you could.

“If that’s the way you wanna play, baby girl. You and I are gonna have a lot of fun.” He chuckled under his breath.


	5. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hurray for updates**im sorry it took so long.Thank you for reading**

"I love you."

"You don't."

"I.Love you."

"You really don't."

"I.love.you." He insisted stubbornly, running his fingers through your hair. "There is nothing, I wouldn't do for you. Haven't I already proven that?"

"There is nothing you wouldn't do _to_ me."

He sighed deeply, frustratedly.

"It was your fault. You had to be punished. If you hadn't misbehaved. I wouldn't have had to -"

"Rape me."

"- teach you a lesson." He glared down at you. 

He tightened his hold on you, crushing you to his bare chest. You winced. For a long terrible moment you thought he might suffocate you, but he relaxed his hold. You took a deep burning breath, then another, focusing slowly on inhaling and exhaling as you willed the residual tension to leave your body.

In the time, you had been in his aquaintence, you had learned a few things about your situation :

1\. Struggling against the pain and violation only resulted in more pain and violation.

He was both stronger&faster than you. You had no idea how long he must have been planning on taking you, but he had planned it well. There were no loose, liftable objects in the room. The furniture was too thick for you to break. That left your own fists and the force you could put behind them but, you had never been very strong and what strength you had dwindled as time passed.

2\. He was more often irrational than rational and therefore he was unpredictable.

Sometimes it made him angry when you cried. Sometimes he was angry when you didn't. It was dependant on the mood he had woken up in.

3\. Help wasn't coming.

There was no one around for miles. He'd told you so with glee and punctuated his point by spending an entire day doing his utmost to make you scream.  
You had screamed yourself hoarse. No help came. No knock on the door from concerned neighbors. No police siren. No phone calls. Just the echoes of your misery and the ragged breathing of your captor disturbed the dead quiet of the basement.

He pressed his lips to the top of your head and said those three dreadful words.

"I need you."

You choked back the sob clawing it's way up your throat.

"You just washed me."

A hum of consideration held you on the precipice of being at ease.

"Did you like it?"

"What?"

"Me taking care of you?"

...taking care of you... Your mind tripped on the statement. Being molested with a wash cloth covered in soap under tepid water then forced to watch him pleasure himself afterwards? No. You did **not** like his idea of "care", but the bite marks and bruises from your last punishment were still fresh. You shivered at the thought of enraging him again.

"Did you?" He asked, his voice husky with desire.

You swallowed your disgust, lifted your head and looked him in the eyes.

"Yes. I did."

***

Y/n's cunt was so warm and wet. He couldn't stop thinking about how it felt to be inside you on the thirty minute drive to the doctor's office. Your pretty nipples, Your breasts, so soft and pliant under his hands. The taste of your skin. God you were delicious. And so beautiful, your y/c eyes. How they'd gazed up at him, so intensely as your lips imparted a truth he'd long been waiting to hear.

You loved him.

He knew you loved him.  
He had known all along. It was just a matter of getting you to admit it. He knew it would be hard work, getting you to open up to him, but unlike the whiney piss poor excuse for a boyfriend you'd had before him, Kylo was up to the task.  
You had trust issues. He understood. He understood you better than anyone else did. Kylo too had been betrayed by people he had trusted and it had been hard for him to fall in love again, but it was worth it. Now, he had you and no one could ever take you away from him.

"Mister Ren? Kylo?" All at once the annoying sound, he had been hearing in the background of his thoughts, a sound akin to the screams of a cicada, caught Kylo's attention.

He cleared his throat. "Excuse me?"

"Have you been sleeping well?" Seated before him was the state mandated psychiatrist.

He shrugged.

"Have you been taking your medication?"

"Sure."

"Its a yes or no question." The doctor huffed annoyed.

"Have you received your payment?" Kylo countered.

"Answer. The question."

"I'll take that as a no. Here." Kylo scoffed reaching into his coat pocket.

"I asked you a question."

Kylo opened his wallet, pulled out three bills and placed them on the desk."and now?"

The doctor frowned, picking the bills up and looking them over.

"This is an insult...hardly sufficient for the service I provide."

Kylo grit his teeth in frustration, pulling four more from his wallet. "Consider this an incentive for not wasting my time here today. Don't forget, you'll be getting your full payment before the month is out."

Icy blue eyes swept over his form appraising, before sniffing in distaste.

"The medication I prescribed. You should take it."

Kylo stood, towering over him. An ill attempt to intimidate. "I'm not paying you for medical advice, just your signature."

The doctor sneered at the warning."I'm well aware. The advice was free."

"I never took you for a compassionate person, doctor."

"I only receive payment, If you are not incarcerated." He deadpanned.

Kylo laughed bitterly. "You receive plenty of patients. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

"Perhaps I wouldn't have to be worried, if my patients stopped disappearing on me." He replied knowingly.

All at once a thick fist was wrapped up in his shirt collar, lifting him onto his toes. Dark eyes lit with fury bore into the Doctor a promise of violence in their depths.

"Perhaps if you were any good at your job, they'd stop transferring to other psychiatrists."  
His dark eyes burned into the doctor daring him to proceed. "Wouldn't they?"

He nodded compliently, stumbling back a bit as he was released. He watched the man's receding back warily, not daring to move.

Kylo turned back as he opened the door, a bright smile breaking through his murderous expression. "Thank you,  Doctor. See you in four weeks."


	6. Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hurray for more updates*

“You don’t deserve a reward, but I do.” He’d told you as he wound the length of rope around your wrists. “It’s hard work taking care of you.” He murmured twisting the rope into a complicated knot. “Washing you,” he pulled at your bindings. “Feeding you,” he attempted to stick his thick fore finger between the rope round your ankles, checking for gaps. “Teaching you,” he nodded to himself, satisfied with his work. “It’s a tough job, but it’ll be worth it...someday.” He sighed wistfully. 

You weren’t worried about the delusional future he had constructed in his mind. He was far too violent to keep you alive for long. 

“Ready?” He asked as though your response would matter. You knew it didn’t. You nodded anyway. 

The lopsided grin his lips formed would have been endearing if you hadn’t known that a monster lurked just beneath the surface. He lifted you with alarming ease, one arm underneath your knees the other around your back.The bindings kept you in an odd position,reminiscent of the stiff way your dolls used to look when you tried to make them sit. 

When he had come to wake you this morning, he was in a better mood than you had ever seen. For breakfast, something you were rarely allowed to have, he gave you a cup of water and a honey crisp apple. He didn’t touch you other than to brush your hair and wash your face. Then he had brought in a garment bag and told you to get dressed before promptly leaving the room.You had one theory for his behavior. He was finished with you.This day would be your last. You tried not to flinch at how uncomfortable it felt to be carried up the stairs, but judging from the far away look in his eyes, he wouldn’t have noticed if you had. 

Apprehension made your stomach gurgle as he neared the landing. You held your breath as your captor reached the top and stepped into a narrow hallway. You could see a couple of doorways on your right.  
You only got a glimpse into the first room as he passed it, you could make out the outlines of a couple of couches and something vaguely resembling an old piano. He passed through the door way at the far end of the hall, turning sideways to fit you both through it into a large kitchen.

The impression of normalcy it gave bewildered you.French style cherrywood cabinets, blushing ivory counter tops, interspersed with stainless steel appliances it was decorated with navy blue kitchen towels and valances. Although it was grossly exorbitant, it seemed the sort of background for food product commercials depicting family dinners. You shook your head as though you could shake away such surreal thoughts.This man was anything, but normal. 

He set you down on the island. You could feel the uncomfortable coolness of the stone counter top through the thin fabric of the stockings you wore and squirmed. You frowned as you watched him walk away. He pulled open a heavy wood door you hadn’t noticed, and then a screen door. He didn’t bother to close either one behind him.

The longer he stayed away the faster your thoughts became, flitting from one hellish imagining to another so quickly that you couldn’t keep track. Your skin felt strange, clammy and almost itchy. You began to feel an aching pressure at the back of your head. You worked to calm your breathing, but the feelings didn’t go away.  
A vibrating started right under your skin, you closed your eyes attempting to ignore the familiar sensation. The silky fabric of the backless red slip dress you had on felt impossibly heavy. You wanted to scream. 

The sound of tires on gravel sent your brain into overdrive, a frenzy of thoughts you could not disentangle overwhelmed you. The sound of him walking back into the room, humming faintly under his breath made you open your eyes. He lifted you up and headed back out the door. Quite unaware that you had a monster too and it was ready to raise hell.


End file.
